Living Dead in the Package

From the archives of the North Country Morgue. Before Terri was released to the wild.

Terri mumbled under her breath as she trekked over a litter of bones in the middle of the backroom floor.

“Whose idea was it to burn up a bunch of bodies and keep their bones? This isn’t supposed to be a scare fest.”

The vein in her forehead pulsed with every step, her anger growing greater by the second.

“And why am I the only one who is capable of getting the bodies off the truck? Can anyone answer me that?”

Unfortunately for her, no one was back there to hear her woes and sorrows, but she went on.

“I could really use a raise right now.” She turns toward the backroom door. “You hear that, Karl?” she exclaimed. “This is stuff NO one else will ever do, and so I should get the extra money for it!”

She continued walking about, heading to the garage door to open it.

North Country Morgue was on the small side of the morgue spectrum, unable to incorporate its own loading bay but very much able to direct ferocious forklift drivers named Terri and anxious 18-wheeler operators in the direction of the bay – the morgue’s driveway. Why were the trailer operators anxious, you could ask. No clear path to the morgue’s loading bay existed as it was a series of L’s and S’s, but none could lead a driver to the open door. They had to park in a land far, far away by the Land of the Dumped and Forgotten.

Beep. Beep.

Terri knew the truck was backing up, but it sounded too close to be of no concern to her. She peeked outside to see a suspicious black trailer miraculously backing all the way up to the door, its beefy tires crunching over the crackling concrete.

Her head followed the truck as it veered to the left of her vision, its roaring engine growing louder and louder as its hum flooded the acoustic bay.

Does he know he doesn’t have to come that far? she wondered to herself.

As if he could hear her voice over the thundering trailer, he stopped, its back end directly in front of the door, exhaust smoke swirling around like an ominous presence in her vicinity.

A door slammed closed, and heavy footsteps came from the other side of the trailer. Crunching leaves from the dead trees all around the morgue, which had been dead for many years now. But somehow, they were still able to play a meaningful ambience for Terri’s dying ears, which just needed reassurance at all times. Squishing bugs, likely beetles, but Terri dared not ask this new guy any questions. It was like nothing she had ever witnessed – no one ever backed up into the labyrinth of a driveway. They all chickened out in the main parking lot in hopes a hero like her would unload their trucks for them.

The guy stood practically seven feet tall, dressed in all black as if coming from a funeral with shades as dark as a cavern ten stories under the earth, deep into the core with no lit lanterns or lost fireflies. If it weren’t for the goofy smile on his face, Terri would have guessed he could see her future.

“Are you gonna unload it or not? I talked to yer boss, and he said you’d have a forklift ready.” He huffed and crossed his seemingly buff arms, his jacket bulging. “So where is it, huh?”

Taken aback, Terri didn’t answer right away, but the man was clearly displeased with her noncompliance.

“Huh?” he voiced again.

“Back off, or I’ll summon the power of God and anime!”

Her bully laughed her to scorn, clutching his chest as if she had told the funniest joke.

“Oh, man! You’ve got me in tears! But soon you’ll be if you don’t get a forklift.”

“You’ve gotta open up your trailer anyway, bud, so I’ll make you a deal. You get the pallet ready, and I’ll get your stupid forklift.”

As if he had taken the time to consider it, he unlocked the rear door, making sure Terri heard the metal handle crash into the side of the trailer. Turning around, she watched the driver disappear into the trailer, his footsteps echoing in its metal chambers.

“What the bloody crap is this?”

For a gruff-looking man with muscles that could shred carrots like no one’s business, he had let out a high-pitched scream as if he were a balloon rapidly losing its air. As he was a hot airhead, Terri couldn’t tell the difference.

Rather than going to get the forklift from the guys next door, Terri walked over to the back of the truck, the guy just dropping on the ledge to catch a breath.

“Corporate’s not gonna be happy when they hear ’bout this one.”

“Why?” Terri asked. She didn’t know what to expect since this man had defied the unspoken rules for all truck drivers. To date, he was the only one who had successfully navigated the maze, backing through the sharp turns and corners to end up in this very moment. There could have been aliens in that trailer, or it could have been pallets of bodies that hit the floor. Or pallets that somehow got unwrapped due to scurrying critters.

With a deep sigh and a scratch of his scraggly beard, he said, “We’ve got a live one in there. Asking about her bucket.”